Sticks and Stones

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” Often used to empower one small child against another in the infamous playground spat, these may be the most untrue words ever said. Words are powerful. Words hurt and words can heal, this is their power.

The Apostle James recognized this when he wrote: 

The tongue is a fire…it stains the whole body…for every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue–a restless evil full of deadly poison (3:6-9).

Right in the middle of James’ piece on righteous living is this injunction against the misuse of the power of the tongue. The Scripture is replete with teachings about the power of words and the danger of misusing them against others. In 1 Samuel 25 we find the story of David, not yet king, and a man named Nabal (which quite literally means “fool”). Nabal, described as surly and mean, rejects David’s request for hospitality for his troops with the dismissive words of “and just WHO is this David? There are lots of runaway slaves these days” (my translation, 1 Sam. 25:9). Now, this might not sound like an insult from our end of things, but imagine you sent a message to your kid to come home from playing outside and their response was, “I don’t even know who that dumb woman/man is, there are so many losers these days.” What might your reaction be? Well, so was David’s - when he heard Nabal’s words he suited up his men and was about to attack Nabal and his family. (Plot spoiler: he didn’t because Nabal’s wife, Abigail, came out and explained that her husband was a fool and she proposed to David.)

Recognizing the power and danger of words is so important that God gives commands throughout the Torah against misusing them by slandering folks and the wisdom book writers attest repeatedly to their ambivalent nature: words can hurt and words can heal, choose to heal. Proverbs, which is full of collected sayings of practical wisdom, offers the following:

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise dispenses knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. . . A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it reeks the spirit (Proverbs 1-2, 4).

I encourage us all to think about how we might use our words well, recognizing their power to tear down or to build up others. How might we speak truth with kindness and encourage one another?

Perhaps this week you might consider reaching out to someone you have harmed with words, calling someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, or sending a note or text of encouragement. Words are powerful, use them well!

Rev. Dr. Amy Chilton